magnitude

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Colossians 1:15-17

Recently I have come to notice how my mother truly has the gift of hospitality. She is indeed talented in not only decorating our home and keeping it clean & organized, but also providing meals and space for women to meet and fellowship on a daily basis. I guess I have never realized the things my mom does during the day. My parents home reminds me of a revolving door. One lady in, another out. A couple in, another couple out. I would say my parents have a full time ministry going on in their home; it's a part of their every day life.

When you have people coming in and out of your home like they do...you encounter men & women from all different walks of life. Many of the guests in the daytime consist of the housewife or part time working woman. The evenings are filled with those who work the proverbial 9-5 jobs. I really never know who may be at our home- or perhaps just passing through the cities and needing a place to stay.

Today a dear friend of my mom stopped in for what I now recognize as a much needed lunch. Of course the term need is not referring to physical nutrition, but of conversation and mutual encouragement. =) I was invited to join them since my classes have ended and I am now on the holiday break. As this woman sat and shared with us about some of the recent events in her family's life my mind slowly began to wander away from the sweet Scandinavian table set and the conversation as a whole. I would tune back in when I heard things such as "But God was already working..." or "He knew ten years ago..." or even "We have been praying for months about this."

My mind was overwhelmed as I sat half listening and half processing... my eyes drifted back and forth between this woman who was pouring her heart out and my mother who was so patiently and quietly nodding with an occasional word to express her understanding or agreement. I had to excuse myself as the conversation went on and on...and the emotions went from deep sorrow to elated joy back to the colloquial calm and around again.

GOD!? Seriously, that is what I thought. Is this even real. These two women sitting and talking about all the things going on in their personal lives and then turning it all around to trust in an Almighty God!? Seriously. No...I mean seriously!? More than anything I doubted about everything I know. The reality of the enslaved, sinful world ( viewed by: CNN, New York Times, Drudge Report, Slate...and any public forum for relaying global news...personal travels and encounters-history in general) and thinking that this is all in the hands of an Almighty Sovereign!? Does that even make sense? nope. not at all.
"oh ye of little faith..." was all i could think of.

I guess what really threw me was the magnitude of difference between what was happening before my very eyes and perhaps for example what is going on in Eastern Europe- political tension is once again rising. God is here...but also there? He cares about my personal life & daily struggles- but also has his hand in the orchestration of global events?
wow.
Daniel 2:20-23 kept running through my mind.

"Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him. To you, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise; for you have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of you, for you have made known to us the king's matter."

The faith of Daniel is unbelievable to me. Anything in his life he simply "gave to God" and in everything "gave thanks to God."

I guess I am learning that God's eternal will involves His glory and sovereignty - Ephesians 1:11b "...having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will..." But also his perceptive will- meaning how I should live and strive to imitate Christ in my daily life. 1 Thessalonians 3&7: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification...For God has not called us for impurity, but holiness."
Reading on we see what a daily life honoring God would include, "you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may live properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one."

I am learning the truth of the childhood song "He's got the whole world, in his hands..." I am also learning that what goes on in my family's home is not minuscule to God, and it is very humbling to realize the lack of faithful obedience I have at times because I am easily overwhelmed by what I read or hear or think. Colossians 2:8-10 states "See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority."

"Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me. I, I am the Lord,
and besides me there is no savior."
Isaiah 43:10b-11

Biking through Tuscany

remains of the crushed grapes which will be used again to make a type of strong liquor.

Biking through a quaint little city! It really was fun!


While in Florence Italy, we decided to take a full day and bike the Tuscan hillside. The day included miles of mountainous riding along with a delicious gourmet lunch & wine sampling at a 17th century Tuscan Villa.

Reaching the Villa was quite satisfying and completely breathtaking. Tuscany is gorgeous. The people are beautiful and the geographical layout is fantastic. The olive and grape trees are so alluring and easy on the eyes. The Stage ladies and my mother and I went through Per's Bike Rides
It was very personal with Per and his wonderful fiance- Melissa who invested in each us of as riders and definitely took the time to explain much of the history of the wine country. Well worth the time and money!

Melissa and Per- wonderful guides. Melissa is from California and Per was born and raised in Sweden. Absolutely fantastic people.

mom and I at the Villa

Villa tours...into the cell where the years of fermentation take place- a true art!

And Miss Stefannie Miller...this video was made just for you! =) Enjoy

Wolcyn Tree Farm

Judson was home for Thanksgiving which was such a joy.
I love my brother and I am so thankful to have one!
The four of us headed up to the Wolcyn Tree Farm in Cambridge, MN to pick out our perfect tree... which of course we found and is now standing proudly in the front entry of my parent's home.
The Wolcyn's are family friends...and are so neat! They own over 900 acres of beautiful, tree filled land. It is a true family business. Tom and Adie have four boys who are all very involved in helping out the family business. Janie Pearson was able to meet us out at the farm and she also found her perfect tree. =)

Mom, Tom Wolcyn, Janie Pearson

Tom's wife Adie is hilarious...she ended up giving Janie and mom personalized wreaths... so sweet. They are also both "perfect" and beautifully hung in each ladies home as well.

love these three...Adie, Janie & mom

Judson and I enjoyed some sweet time shopping in the cabin and drinking hot apple cider. Minnesota in the wintertime can be horribly cold...but we sure have some warm, wonderful people. =)Nice flannel Judson- total lumberjack...

The sad part of this picture filled blog post...is the Christmas tree was never documented. We were so busy laughing and talking we never took a family picture by the perfect tree! Oh well, perhaps some day you will see pictures in the posts to come. Thank you Wolcyn's for a great time and a beautiful wreath and tree. We are blessed to have friends like you all in our life.

Mom and I driving back to the cities...the boys made us take the back seat...
hmmm

Wisdom Teeth...

This is funny.

Today I had my wisdom teeth surgically removed, and I had to be put completely out.
Propofol and Fentanyl are my two new friends. Unbelievable.
I work with open heart surgery, yet when the doctor is talking about my body... even just the mention of incisions causes my heart to race and my blood pressure to completely bottom out.
Good thing I was sitting in the patient chair when he explained what the "extraction" of my "impacted" teeth would entail.
This is immediately after I awoke from oral surgery. Not bad eh!? =)
( I look like I just got checked in to rehab- seriously)

The doc told my mom to take me directly home from the clinic and take the next few days off...

That means- we went directly to Grand Ave. to have soup at our favorite little hot spot known as Cafe Latte. The salmon corn chowder was delicious...a little hard to eat, but tasted oh so good going down.
We also visited Starbucks and Pottery Barn. After I ordered my latte, I realized the barista was slightly staring. I then remembered that I was having just a little trouble with post Novocaine drooling. HA! I quickly apologized, the poor guy felt so bad for me he gave me my drink for free! It is interesting how quickly you can bond with someone over a pitiful/sorrowful situation. This guy was trying to be so sensitive to my current plot in life and honestly seemed overjoyed to help me in any way possible. I was blessed, we both laughed and I pray he goes home tonight with a grin on his face. It reminded me so sweetly that I have no idea where people are coming from, or what situations each individual is dealing with in this season of life. Everyone needs a good laugh, a big hug, and sweet encouragement.

Mom and me at Cafe Latte- the swelling on the left side is starting to really show.
At least I wasn't drooling.
=) just another day in the life of kcm

Minneapolis Orpheum

I learned a really neat life lesson last night.

I have desired to see the musical Wicked for many years now. My family attended the the show while visiting Chicago a couple of years back and I was sadly not with them.

The show has been here, in the Twin Cities, for a couple of weeks now and I have really wanted to see it but for lack of funds I couldn't muster myself to go buy a 240 dollar ticket. Well, yesterday morning I decided I was going to go to the play, and just go with my gut. I fancied up, stocked my purse with a measly $55 and headed to the Orpheum. I couldn't help but smile and feel like a baboon the entire way to the theater. Of course it was the Saturday evening show, and Minneapolis was bustling with young couples newly in love, older couples rekindling their romance and then of course, me. =)

I waited outside the theater for quite some time, hoping and praying that someone would be trying to sell off their extra tickets but it was just not happening. I also tried to get into the last minute 'rush' lottery for randomly saved tickets. The lottery was full- and not likely happening in my favor.

When my little watch was displaying 10 minutes to 8pm (show time started @8) - I truly thought that my chances of getting in were almost completely hopeless... and I even contemplated heading over to the Lorie Line Piano Concert only two blocks away when I heard a woman say..."no one is going to want to just buy one ticket..."
My ears almost jumped off my head, I couldn't believe it...but at the same time...totally knew it would happen.

I quickly gathered myself together and walked directly to the woman with the extra ticket, told her I was very interested... and told her my max dollar amount.

The woman thought it was so neat that I was there by myself... (or she felt horrible for me and my lonesome self) she gave me the ticket as a gift. Unbelievable. Totally for free.

As I was walking to my seat, my mind was reeling with the amazing thing that had just happened. Such a sweet blessing that came out of nowhere.

life lesson: go with your gut.

Divine Romance

Phil Wickham's music has truly blessed my heart and mind in the last few weeks. My dear friend was married last month and chose to have Wickham's song I Will Wait For You in the wedding ceremony. As I was watching my friend walk down the aisle to be united with her anxiously awaiting bridegroom, the beauty of the marriage relationship that God has designed, for a man and woman, moved me to tears. I have stood up for quite a few girls and have always felt a sincere excitement for my friends... but this time it was a little different. Perhaps it is my age, perhaps it was my desires at the moment- either way, my heart was touched and my hope was re-affirmed. I love how the Word of God gives us the tangible, physical example of a husband and wife- and Christ and the church. What a beautiful example of his divine relationship with us. The entire purpose of a marriage is to glorify God. What a sanctification process...exciting!

Check out his video

I Will Wait For You There

Venice

Just weeks ago- my mother and I stood in antiquity's St. Marks Square...

...one of the most famous spots known for tourists visiting Italy. Three days ago- the entire island of Venice was flooded.

Today I was catching up with the 'week in pictures' published by the BBC and found this awesome photo of Duncan Zuur of the Netherlands wakeboarding through the square.

Unbelievable.

The Bruised Reed...

Just completed the 23rd Annual Venice Marathon- my 1st and hopefully not the last!

Why is it so easy to start things...but often so hard to finish them?

The end of this semester is drawing near and I am definitely finding myself in the mode of withdrawal. It seems to be a common theme in my life. I start something, anything, so valiantly and when the end is drawing near... it takes everything in me not to quit. I can think of several examples, areas in my life where this has occurred. I recognize the fact that this is most certainly a commitment phobia along with a disputable fear of failure. It's often easy for me to get away with it (so I believe) due to the fact that I don't sit still very easily and I can readily jump onto the next big thing happening in the world.

Get away with it?

Who am I fooling? There is nothing less honorable, that I can think of, in this life than jumping from one agenda to the next. A consistent, disciplined lifestyle is usually a reflection of what a person has determined as important in his/her life.

As a believer I have not been the greatest example of this. Being aware of this reality is the first step in working towards refinement and allowing the Lord to work within me to be pruned. I can't however just be 'aware', I must be active in my understanding. I would consider this area of "bailing out" certainly a weakness in my life. Richard Sibbes writes in The Bruised Reed a bit about not allowing our weaknesses to keep us from duty-

We should not avoid good actions because of the infirmities attending them. Christ looks more at the good in them which he means to cherish than the ill in them which he means to abolish. Though eating increases a disease, a sick man will still eat, so that nature may gain strength against the disease. So, though sin cleaves to what we do, yet let us do it, since we have to deal with so good a Lord, and the more strife we meet with, the more acceptance we shall have. Christ loves to taste of the good fruits that come from us, even though they will always savour of our old nature.

Justification of situations or circumstances is what usually leads me to quit. "I wont get a good grade because of blah blah blah...so I might as well withdraw now" or, "I have already screwed up this dinner, we might as well just go out and grab a bite to eat." More recently I found myself running a very long race...and on mile 17 thinking to myself, "you already have a really bad mile time just quit...who cares anyways."

Wow- what a weakling. By the grace of God I didn't quit the race- but I did realize how weak my mind is. Sibbes goes on to write, "sometimes a Christian has such confused thoughts that he can say nothing but, as a child cries, 'O Father', not able to express what he needs, like Moses at the Red Sea. These stirrings of spirit touch the heart of God and melt him into compassion towards us, when they come from the Spirit of adoption, and from a striving to be better."

I want to strive to be the best I can be. I think the old phrase coined nicely by Nike is Just Do It! Obedience is the key. Prayer filled obedience. Sibbes concludes with the example of Paul 'pressing on toward the mark for which he was called'. It is so important for me to finish what I start. Not only for my reputation- but also because I claim to be a new creation in Christ. Actions speak louder than words- and a life of perseverance and completion until the Lord calls me home is what I will strive for. I'm so thankful for his grace.

"There is never a holy sigh, never a tear we shed, which is lost. And as every grace increases by exercise of itself, so does the grace of prayer. By prayer we learn to pray. So, likewise, we should take heed of a spirit of discouragement in all other holy duties, since we have so gracious a Saviour. Pray as we are able, hear as we are able, strive as we are able, do as we able, according to the measure of grace received. God in Christ will cast a gracious eye upon that which is his own." -Sibbes (1577-1635)

What's in a word???

I find it fascinating- that God gave us his WORD to speak truth into our lives. Why did he choose to write things? Perhaps because when something is written- there is a better chance of accurately passing on truth- than when we speak...
When we now read the written Word of God is is important to know the original context and form that it was once documented in. Learning the original written languages of Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic is no easy task- and more than likely not going to be done by the average human being. It is not easy- but is necessary to strive to understand the context of original writing- coupled with sincere prayer for discernment and understanding of what is being conveyed through the Word.

The reason I bring this up is because of what I have been reading this morning... President elect Obama is now in the process of deciding who will be on his staff in the upcoming years of his presidency. It is interesting how the tides have turned now that he is elected and is in a new position. Our new president elect has asked us to "forget the campaign..." and move on to things at hand. Check out this article.

I am saddened...not because I am frustrated with Obama or the news for that matter...but with mankind, not excluding myself.

What do our words mean? Apparently not much...and what gives words meaning? It is very easy for me to say many things. Sometimes I ramble on and on...and in my head I'm thinking..."that is not even true...what am I saying!?" I'm quick to respond or answer in the heat of a moment...and then later look back and know that I was completely flippant in my conversation. I guess this is just a reality check for me on the weight of words- and how foolish I look when in one moment I criticize and the next I compliment- or vice versa. How do I become a sincere woman of integrity, not only in words, but of deeds and of heart!?

Looking to the scriptures Deuteronomy 8:3 states "...man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." Proverbs 30:5 "Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." John 17:17 "Sanctify them in the truth, your word is truth."

Therefore "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom...and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:16

Kosovo - November 2008- view from my hotel room in Gjakova.

Just returned from a transport with Samaritan's Purse. Many of you know that I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel with a division of SP known as The Children's Heart Project CHP.
This has been a huge answer to prayer. If you have read my first post in this blog- you know I initially struggled with the area of nursing that I had chosen. After about a year of praying and seeking the Lord on unknowns... my grandmother, of all people, connected me with a pediatric cardiologist from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota. The Lord is so sovereign. He connects and orchestrates things in ways we can't ever imagine. Dr. Alison quickly hooked me up with a group from San Antonio who specializes in heart surgery for little ones and off to Mongolia I went. (obvious lack of details...but you can only imagine!)
The medical aspect of my nursing had not changed- but my heart had. I was, in a blink of an eye, surrounded by men and women who trusted and feared the Lord (rather than their minds and each other) in the practice of Pediatric Cardiothoracic surgery! It was delight to pray over our little ones before we took them to the OR and also speak the truth of the gospel to their families.

This last transport I did- I brought two little boys along with their mothers and an interpreter who has become one of my dearest friends- Lule. They will be having their hearts 'repaired' Lord willing next week in Peoria, Illinois.
more to come...